Notes from the Cougar Band Room

It's been 136 days since students last met together in the band room at SCHS. My struggle right now isn't unique. There isn't a band student or director out there who isn't also struggling with the realities of our current world.  I'm angry and hurt for our students who are being robbed of these experiences when their time in high school already goes so quickly.  On a personal level,  I miss my students and their live sounds. I miss engaging with my school community in person. I miss the communal experience of rehearsing. The vast majority of my summers on this Earth have been filled with music making in large groups. Today, I remember them each fondly as well as mourn my first August without music since elementary school.   There’s nothing we would love more than to be able to come together and make music again. There is much healing and humanity in the arts that we NEED right now.  In moments of heaviness like this one, I find some sense of light an...

Dear Students, This is certainly not how I imagined the culmination of our face-to-face school year. The last time I saw you, I never imagined it would be for the last time. The selfish truth is that I'm still not ready for it to be the end. I thought we would have so much more ahead of us... Time to use all the tools we've sharpened over the course of the year to put together some incredible performances. Time to get out on the stage and leave it all out there for audiences to enjoy. Time to create, time to play, time to laugh, time to grow, time to cry, time to celebrate, time to say "good bye".  The irony of it all is although we supposedly have "all the time in the world", that time won't look like anything we imagined. This isn't what anyone imagined or anticipated. Not for you, not for ourselves, not for our world. But the good news is this isn't the end . Buildings might be closed, face-to-face instruction may not be possible, but the ...

Ah, festival time. It comes around every year right in that time when winter won't go away and spring can't quite come fast enough. The annual rite of musical passage when band directors and ensembles across the land have that last big push for some of our most significant performances of the year. I'm not sure whether it's the significance of festival, the demand of the schedule, using that last molecule of energy to get out of bed, or needing more hours in the day, but I find this time of year to be really tough. Energy is scarce yet demand is high. In the name of self-preservation and self-care, I also find it vitally important to take some of our  precious minutes to reaffirm our work. Reconnecting with universal truths along with reminding ourselves why we are here & what we need to do to push through is really helpful in keeping our momentum and ultimately, keep moving forward. Here are some of the points and discussions we have made in class that have b...

Sometimes, I feel like I’m living life in the waiting room of a doctor’s office; I’m either waiting to do something or I’m doing something. And although self-care is something I fully believe in,  the vast majority of the somethings I’m doing are for other people. I don’t mind doing things for other people— In fact, I love it. It’s why I wanted to become a teacher and a mother. But spend enough time living in the waiting room and it will catch up with you: Energy runs low, not sure how much further you can go, and the light at the end of the tunnel gets further and further away. Ultimate truth time: I love my life, my family, my students, my school, my community. I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. Every now and then though, I wish there was a pause button. If I could just push pause for a little bit.... For the all responsibilities to be complete. For everyone’s needs to be met. For the e-mail to stop. To be caught up. To feel as though I have a guilt-free opportunity to ...